Duran-isms.

This post is a collection of quotes that I wrote down in all of my Art History classes that I had with Adrian Duran. Some of them might not make any sense without the context of the piece that we were talking about, but they are going in all the same. This is 3 or 4 semesters worth of Art History. Keep in mind almost ALL of this is in response to some kind of painting, sculpture, or other art piece.

"Go to Dresden before you're dead."

Talking about Bacon and Innocent X, "A vomit sort of sense of painting."

"Fascism is a real pain."

"Painting has been subject to a variety of people trying to kill it."

In response to my question about who did the paintings on the walls of a cinema, "I don't even know who they are. I do

don't even care. And I never will care. Cause we got neon bulbs in the roof."

About Twombly's School of Athens, "Smeared shit."

"Knowing things often prevents you from thinking."

"Lil' Wayne's awesome."

Lee Bontecou "Untitled" of 1961

"You could wear it like a hat. But you'd never get away with it."

"It's like the Death Star. This kind of geometry is part of outer space exploration."

"One always has to be aware of sly sarcasm."

"It's not slapdash, or loosey goosey abstraction."

"Your power as an artist comes from testicles, somehow."

"Reverent = Break your balls."

About Arman "Full Up" of 1960, "Scattalogical interest in consumer goods", "Excrement of capitalist society becomes fodder", "A bastardization of the logic of the capitalist market."

"It is the excrement that we are ashamed of."

"Any time something is pleasant, be aware that your brain is sort of half turned off."

"You know Jack the dripper... That's what they called it! It's not my fault!....He was an uber masculine ejaculatory painter."

"Like it's super penis or something."

"That's a new word... felthood."

"It comes in a bear, you can't expect to know where it comes from."

"People put art in museums as if they are hanging corpses."

"Are what, that, and the third."

"It's almost as if his whole life has become determined by seersucker." About Daniel Buren.

"Is it nothing more than painterly masturbation?"

Talking about Raphael, "...You can imaging it's like being the keeper of all BBQ in Memphis."

"Geometritination, it's not a word, but you know. You've got to make them up."

"Caravaggio was sent by god to destroy painting."

"I think children under the age of 18 are just feces machines."

"Jay-z wore one, [a rosary] around his neck, you know, cause Jesus was a rapper."

About Reni "Massacre of the Innocents" 1611 "And I say Amazing... But not because I advocate killing babies."

"I swear to you, if you ever see this in person you will fall out of your pants." Bernini "Apollo and Daphne".

"It's an architectural hug." St. Peter's Basilica

In response to a painting that was cut down to fit a frame, "People who cut art are idiots."

"That's like Jesus and Muhammed sitting down and having a beer together."

"Who the hell let this farmer in?"

"A bit of a dandy." Velazquez "Infante Don Carlos"

Velazquez "Venus at her mirror", "This would have been the height of sauciness."

"What the hell kind of painting is this? You want something with testicles, that's the whole reason people reproduced during this time." "Las Meninas" 1656

Rembrandts "Self-Portrait at the age of 34" and his skills at painting, "It would be like Hugh Hefner writing a book on how to be a perverted old man." *same painting* "It's like when Jay-z stopped wearing basketballs jerseys and started wearing button up shirts."

"I'm against Barbarism."

"Oh... Here comes Zeus and a shower of gold!"

"If you ever see a French person on the 14th of July, take them out for a beer of something. They'll be looking for a celebration."

About some french painters with ridiculous names/titles/etc. "Yeah, especially with the French because they put letters in there they don't even want."

"Wow it looks like a snowflake!" "It's Pugin you idiot."

"The invisible barbarians."

Delacroix "Bark of Dante", "Very interested in insanity and all of its flavors."

Delacroix "Death of Sardanapalis"

"Just makes me want to puke a little it's so amazing."

During our class another class across the hall got out a

nd was always very loud in the hallway so this applies to that. "Okay, so Zark just gave me permission to strangle them, so next time we are all going to get up and grab a freshman."

"Aladdin was just one really long LSD trip."

"This guy, [Dadd] no psychotropics... Crazy. He wasn't drugged up, he was just mentally unstable."

"The bible is loaded with good anecdotes."

"Works of art are like turkeys. If you want to make your turkey good you inject it with brine or beer or maple syrup, if you can get it through the needle. The artists of this time are injecting their art."

"You know what I mean, it's like a turkey at Thanksgiving."

"It's oil on canvas... Gods material."

"So think about his as having a vanilla milkshake and a chocolate milkshake."

"Turner is just obscene. It's almost like he's super human with the way he moves paint around."

"This is going to sound insane. Just go with it."

"It will make you weep it's so good. Unless you have no soul."

"It's beautiful burn your eyeballs out sunlight."

"Turner is painting this painting because he rode this train one day, and stuck his head out the window like a damn dog."

"This is why I get so out of sorts when I talk about oil paint. It just has such tactility that it just looks like he's smearing it with his face. This is why God gave us oil paint.

"When we look at his images, or I will at least, get all hot and bothered." In response to John Constable.

"I think this is the shit man. This is where it's at."

Someone sneezed quietly, "Bless you, you gotta let those out or you are going to loose your eyeballs."

Someone was talking about Johnny Depp, "But like, he's your moral compass, Johnny Depp?"

About Gauguins painting "Manao Tupapau", "I don't know about you, but when white men sneak into my bedroom in the middle of the night I'm scared."

Talking about test day, "Please don't stand outside the door during the survey class like a horny dog waiting to get in."

Loudness outside the classroom, "What the hell is going on out there? Is it Armageddon?"

"This is me, sort of... talking."

More loudness outside of the classroom, "What is it? Pacing the hallway in loud shoes day? That's obnoxious."

"Oh shit, by which I mean drat."

"Disembowel, pretend that painting is a human being, and they are cutting it apart from the inside out."

"Painting is like a Monty Python routine, it refuses to die."

A title of one of the sections we were talking about: Courbet, Realism, and the rise of the outskirts,

to which Duran said, "By which I mean people on the outside."

"The Communist Manifesto is going to go down in history as the most important work published, followed by Charles Darwins Origin of Species, and Harry Potter."

Clearly not about anything, "I intend to, with the help of the librarian, to have a TV show one day called, 'Art: Breaking it Down.' It'll be on Youtube first. I can wear parachute pants and a Michael Jackson vest."

"The woman who sells her body is no different than the man who sells muffins."

"This is like OOO La La!"

"It was like syphilis. Everybody was trying it."

"How many more of these can I barf out before the end of class?"

And the last one....

"I've never used post-coital in a classroom before... WOW! It's Christmas!"

Sadly, I graduated. So I won't have anymore quotes to put up. UNLESS you still have him and you write them down and send them to me. That be nice. Lauren Rae, I know you've got some.